THIS TOOK ME FOREVER I’M SORRY but this was sam’s prize fic for winning my giveaway! the holiday season has been so stressful/losing my first draft really set me back, but i hope you like it ;o;
mad thanks to my gf who helped me like a shitload with this jfc smooches her
Warnings: (quick) weight gain, general FA themes, sexual themes (pretty light stuff).
Word count: 4k
aaahhhhhh this is really great thank you so much~~!! <3333
John has been regularly baking after your slightly less than silent treatment. But finals break your peace again. You are going to choke a bitch if you don’t get at least a truffle while your studying for your Cal 2 final. But you don’t have the heart to give John shit about it. He’s close to failing one of his classes and getting on his ass this week would just make it more misery than you are feeling for him.
So you don’t. You brood over your guidelines and rub at your beer belly. It’s hardly a beer belly, but it seems that that’s where all your fat is taking it’s nap. You’re healthy still. John has started going nuts with the cupcakes. You’ve had vegan cupcakes, nutty treats, even homemade ice cream. He’s getting crazy with the things he makes and you enjoy it.
The door to your room opens. And John shuffles in holding a sorry excuse for a cupcake. “I got it at the minute mart. So it’s shit, but I put my frosting on it, so should save the cake a bit.” He muttered. He’s been crying, his eyes red and puffy face tell the whole story. You don’t mind that he even made some kind of modern post artsy shit you guys saw on Cupcake Wars last week. The chocolate strings sticking out the top makes you smile.
You bad mood is gone and you put the cupcake on your desk as you get up. “You didn’t have to.” You mutter wrapping your arms around him.
“Dad said… that I should keep up some routine.” He answers back. You are glad that his baking for you is just as needed to him as it is to you. “If you want to study together I can help you out. I’ve got my cal test in the bag so I can come down from my magna cumma laude throne and save your ass.”
You see his face twist in a frown. You had meant it as a joke, but you went too far. You squeeze him into a tight hug making sure he can’t run away. “Dude, don’t worry. I won’t let you fail. I don’t want anyone else to be my roommate.”
He holds on to you tightly and you don’t say anything as he starts crying again. You know it has something to do with living up to his father’s expectations, but you won’t mention it. It’s an unspoken agreement.
You actually worry when you have to go clothes shopping with Dave. You think the joke has gone long enough. Dave is slowly turning into a human puffer fish. He’s nearly as squishy as you now and you can’t recall ever seeing him more than a beanpole.
You don’t bake for a whole week and he land slides straight into a some sick depressive bitch fit. He slams doors and actually packed the swords in the fridge to spite you.
One key lime pie later Dave is watching a movie with you on his bed. He’s made a mess of himself. He’s so focused on inhaling it that you pause the movie. You look at him with a bit of the key lime on his bottom lip. Scooping off the offending bit of sweet he snorts are you, “No homo bro.”
You grumble at him and attack. Together you roll off the bed to wrestle. You get so many holds on his new love handles and you like it. It makes it easier to draw on the fight, and it makes you a bit warm inside. You lay in bed later thinking of where else on his body is showing the signs of your baking marathon.
You think you’ll learn how to deal with fondant. You don’t miss how he lights up with the more effort that goes into the finished product. You will put that bitch Betty Crocker to shame.
You aren’t sure why John started baking religiously. You just know that what started out as a chore for his Dad’s visits is now the peace de resistance of your week. Red velvet, confetti cake, chocolate cupcakes, cheese cake with a scoop of ice cream for every serving. Each project tastes better than the last. By the time the shelf that had been reserved for Dad became the cabinet, you convince John to start baking from scratch.
The first few disasters nearly eat through your stomach. But you don’t have the heart to spit out the sweets that taste nearly like flour. You do however throw one cookie at him and call him a skill less hack. He bites the cookie to spit it out at you, but he just spits it out. “Shit this is pretty bad. How did you eat half a dozen of those already?” You shrug off his comment and watch him throw the rest of the cookies out.
You survived that encounter and John learned to follow the instructions to the tee. Snicker doodles, double chocolate ship, and M & Ms cookies later you aren’t surprised that you can’t button up your skinny jeans. The scale tells you a five pound difference and you really could give two shits.
Bro never did shit like this for you and moving out with John, who is becoming his Dad despite his protests, was the best move you made. Someone willing to go out of their way to bake you sweets just to sate your sweet tooth. You actually feel, dare you say it. Loved?
Dave made a yaoi hands joke and John completely lost it
also sorry for the sketch, I’m just being really lazy tonight but I can guarantee a lot more big/chub!Dave/John in the future it’s literally my favorite thing god bless u anon
There were tears when you guys moved out. Mostly from your Dad. Dave’s bro gave him a suitcase full of swords to shove in the fridge. You guys keep the suitcase at the ready for when he visits. You also have a decent supply of baking goods when your Dad visits. Apparently a well rounded diet means nothing without cake. So you bake with him. There are always left overs and Dave always spends the next week finishing the cake by himself. Because holy shit you still hate cake and you don’t even eat it when your Dad is over, but you will bake it with him. You like making your Dad proud.
It’s when you are half way through the prep when your Dad cancels for a surprise business meeting that it happens. Dave convinces you to finish what you were making. He then spends the week bitching that the cake you made definitely isn’t like your Dad’s quality.
You are determined to make him eat his words as well as whatever cake you manage to stuff down his sass talking gullet. Maybe you’d even poison the baked goods with laxatives to make him pay for good. You decide to start with a triple chocolate devil’s food cake. You will make him regret ever mocking you.
eeeee I am excited :DD
A Special Treat
Homestuck NSFW Dirk/Jake/Dave/John fic
Contains Inflation, Bondage, Masochism/Sadism, Spanking, and just some generally kinky ass shit. You have been warned.
So yeah, this is probably the kinkiest thing on this blog. It was really fun to write. Gift for Kela. WARNING: THE WEAK OF HEART TURN THE FUCK AROUND RIGHT NOW.
omfg~~ this is so awesome :DD thank you so muchhh <333
hey yo. do you think it would be possible to get a list of all your kinks maybe? I kind of wanted to do like. a gift thing and i’m kind of one the fence about weight gain. but i still want to do something for you because you’re amazing. (´･ω･`) so yeah, it would be easier. if i could find a more common ground.
ahhh ffff oh wow sorry I just saw this ;w; daww thanks so much for the offerrrr, I’m not sure if I have anything else you’d be interested but if none of them are appealing then that’s fine! just hearing that someone was willing to do a gift for me makes me really happy regardless!!
but yes umm for my harder kinks, I also really like when humans transform into large female (or herm) anthropomorphic creatures (cow anthros, centaur/minotaurs, and dragon-like anthros especially) when the process is extremely arousing for them
or really just about anything involving hypersensitive aphrodisiac-like effects, plus TF, or inflation, or WG, or some other sort of bodily transformation/growth
or tying someone up, blindfolded, where they’re getting touched by various people (or things other than people? :B) and ends up in them getting covered in cum and being really aroused by the touching and blah blah basically another aphrodisiac situation lmao
I guess those are my main fetishy kink things? for a bit more realistic stuff, I also really love neck biting, masochism (physical pain only, I don’t like mental domination/submission), someone having their genitals stepped on (pleasure from the pain/pressure sort of thing), and.. yeah
I think that sums it up lol